New Year's Eve, 2018
I’m ringing in the new year laying next to a sleeping Ben. There is no where else I’d rather be. Before he fell asleep I told him I loved him so much. A minute later he turned and snuggled close and said, “I love you, mama.” Those words make me cry. I know the words won’t sound this way much longer, how he calls me “mama.” He’s growing fast and I see the little boy disappearing right before my eyes. And so I cry...for all the sweet moments like this one and for all the sweet moments I’ve had in the past 7.5 years with this sweet boy. And I mourn because I know he’s leaving soon. This Ben. Leaving this stage. Moving and growing. And I will hardly remember him like he is now. And so I cry some more. And I miss him, even though he’s lying right next to me.