New Year's Eve, 2018

I’m ringing in the new year laying next to a sleeping Ben. There is no where else I’d rather be. Before he fell asleep I told him I loved him so much.  A minute later he turned and snuggled close and said, “I love you, mama.”  Those words make me cry. I know the words won’t sound this way much longer, how he calls me “mama.”  He’s growing fast and I see the little boy disappearing right before my eyes. And so I cry...for all the sweet moments like this one and for all the sweet moments I’ve had in the past 7.5 years with this sweet boy.  And I mourn because I know he’s leaving soon.  This Ben. Leaving this stage. Moving and growing. And I will hardly remember him like he is now. And so I cry some more.  And I miss him, even though he’s lying right next to me. 

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