2016 recap
Somewhere along the way in 216 I stopped blogging. Somewhere along the way in 2016 I stopped enjoying blogging. I've alluded to this before...that journaling my kids' lives has become a weight on my shoulders instead of an outlet of laughter, memories, and reflection. It's probably because there are three busy, young lives to report on; little people who do funny and crazy things every minute of every day and I cannot capture it all, and so it becomes overwhelming to me.
And because since August of this past year (2016), I have been on a roller coaster ride, along with Benny, as we have experienced Kindergarten for him. I have collected all of my text message and email communication to friends and family, messages that express the day to day emotions I've experienced, hoping that I would have the energy to simply copy and paste them here as a recap of the past 6 months. But even that seems overwhelming. I imagine Benny reading this years from now, and I want to recall accurately what I was feeling. Knowing Benny's personality, he will skim over it and smile and be on to the next thing. He doesn't dwell on things too long.
Maybe I can start with the present, TODAY January 16, 2017, and then I will go back to the beginning, August 29th, 2016, when I dropped Ben off for his first day of Kindergarten.
In two days, Paul and I have a meeting with Ben's wonderful teacher, Mrs. Grabow, along with the school social worker and principal. Paul stopped Ben's teacher 2 weeks ago when he was picking the boys up from school and said to her "We want to take Benny down to 4 days." She took immediate action to get a meeting on the calendar. So, how did we get here and why do we want to keep Ben home one day a week?
Ben is a young Kindergartner. He turned 5 on May 1st, 2016 and both socially and academically we knew he was ready for Kindergarten. Paul was also a May birthday and went to Kindergarten when he was 5. However, that was 36 years ago, when Kindergarten was half days, you didn't learn to read until 1st grade, and there was a lot of playtime and imaginary play. They say now that Kindergarten is the new 1st grade grade. It is intense, long, and is almost everything that doesn't come naturally to a 5 year old boy, Sit still, don't run, whisper, stand in line, stand in line, whisper, sit still. And for 8 straight hours, there is intense curriculum, standardized testing, and very little time to run, play, exercise, shout, laugh, and be a 5 year old boy. Eventually kids seem to adjust to this schedule. My friend, Chloe, said it's almost like these Kindergartners need to go through conditioning, like when you start a new program at the gym. Their little bodies are shocked by the new schedule. Most kids, I would say, a few weeks in, get used to the schedule. Their bodies have been conditioned and can handle the longer day. This was the case for Luke, who requires VERY LITTLE sleep (ugh! That's another story!). This is not the case for Ben. It is mid-January. He started school on August 29th. He can hold it together during the school day, but life after school is, quite honestly, disastrous. He must be so overstimulated that he can't seem to nap or even sleep well at night. Ben is always a pleasant child, until he is overtired. His brain simply cannot handle life without enough sleep. Since school has started he is almost unrecognizable as a child. He looks sad a lot of the time. He looks tired almost all of the time. He has lost interest in doing anything fun and wants to only be at home. He has many meltdowns and we are often walking on egg shells around him. He confines us to our home because he simply can't handle leaving the house. We've had to leave many parties or outings or gatherings because he physically can't handle them.
In October, I mentioned this to his teacher and also mentioned the fact that we had discussed pulling him out of school to home school him. She was surprised, because he seems so happy and fine at school. At that point I had a conversation with the social worker about potential options: letting Ben nap after lunch in the nurses office, picking him up early a few days a week, etc. She was open and wonderful about it all, wanting to work with me to find some solutions. She spent some one-on-one time with Ben after that and reported back that he seemed to like school but wished they had nap time like in preschool. We agreed to keep an eye on him and "hope he would turn the corner." A few weeks after that, we had an especially bad weekend with Ben and even Paul agreed "is this stress on his little body worth it? He's FIVE." At that point we decided that after Christmas we would make a change...whether that be pulling him out one day a week, picking him up early a few days a week, or simply pulling him out to home-school him the rest of the year. Over Christmas break we saw the 'old Benny' and we were reminded of the kid who loved life, loved to run and play, loved to throw on a million sweat bands and work out in the basement with his mom in his underwear. :) He was happy and rested and reasonable and fun.
So back to the beginning of this story. Since I started this post on January 16th, over 2 months have passed and now I am finally picking it back up to finish the story. We met with Ben's teacher and the principal two days after I started this post. The meeting could not have gone better and they agreed we could and should pick Ben up early (just before he eats lunch) two days of the week. We were thrilled and so was Ben. So for the past two months, Ben has had half days on Wednesdays and Fridays. He is a different kid. We can't believe how much of a difference it makes. Mondays he is rested from the weekend, Tuesdays I volunteer in his classroom in the mornings, Wednesday (right when he's getting tired) he has a half day, Thursday is a full day with Grandpa Dave picking him up, then Friday is a half day to end the week. We are thanking God that we have been able to adjust Ben's schedule. We won't be able to do any half days when he is in first grade because of MN State Truancy laws, but Ben's principal has promised he will work with us to make Ben's schedule doable for him. By next year we figure he will be a full year older and his little body will be able to better handle the intensity of the long days and weeks.
Below are some pictures from the first day of school and a party we had the weekend before school started.
And because since August of this past year (2016), I have been on a roller coaster ride, along with Benny, as we have experienced Kindergarten for him. I have collected all of my text message and email communication to friends and family, messages that express the day to day emotions I've experienced, hoping that I would have the energy to simply copy and paste them here as a recap of the past 6 months. But even that seems overwhelming. I imagine Benny reading this years from now, and I want to recall accurately what I was feeling. Knowing Benny's personality, he will skim over it and smile and be on to the next thing. He doesn't dwell on things too long.
Maybe I can start with the present, TODAY January 16, 2017, and then I will go back to the beginning, August 29th, 2016, when I dropped Ben off for his first day of Kindergarten.
In two days, Paul and I have a meeting with Ben's wonderful teacher, Mrs. Grabow, along with the school social worker and principal. Paul stopped Ben's teacher 2 weeks ago when he was picking the boys up from school and said to her "We want to take Benny down to 4 days." She took immediate action to get a meeting on the calendar. So, how did we get here and why do we want to keep Ben home one day a week?
Ben is a young Kindergartner. He turned 5 on May 1st, 2016 and both socially and academically we knew he was ready for Kindergarten. Paul was also a May birthday and went to Kindergarten when he was 5. However, that was 36 years ago, when Kindergarten was half days, you didn't learn to read until 1st grade, and there was a lot of playtime and imaginary play. They say now that Kindergarten is the new 1st grade grade. It is intense, long, and is almost everything that doesn't come naturally to a 5 year old boy, Sit still, don't run, whisper, stand in line, stand in line, whisper, sit still. And for 8 straight hours, there is intense curriculum, standardized testing, and very little time to run, play, exercise, shout, laugh, and be a 5 year old boy. Eventually kids seem to adjust to this schedule. My friend, Chloe, said it's almost like these Kindergartners need to go through conditioning, like when you start a new program at the gym. Their little bodies are shocked by the new schedule. Most kids, I would say, a few weeks in, get used to the schedule. Their bodies have been conditioned and can handle the longer day. This was the case for Luke, who requires VERY LITTLE sleep (ugh! That's another story!). This is not the case for Ben. It is mid-January. He started school on August 29th. He can hold it together during the school day, but life after school is, quite honestly, disastrous. He must be so overstimulated that he can't seem to nap or even sleep well at night. Ben is always a pleasant child, until he is overtired. His brain simply cannot handle life without enough sleep. Since school has started he is almost unrecognizable as a child. He looks sad a lot of the time. He looks tired almost all of the time. He has lost interest in doing anything fun and wants to only be at home. He has many meltdowns and we are often walking on egg shells around him. He confines us to our home because he simply can't handle leaving the house. We've had to leave many parties or outings or gatherings because he physically can't handle them.
In October, I mentioned this to his teacher and also mentioned the fact that we had discussed pulling him out of school to home school him. She was surprised, because he seems so happy and fine at school. At that point I had a conversation with the social worker about potential options: letting Ben nap after lunch in the nurses office, picking him up early a few days a week, etc. She was open and wonderful about it all, wanting to work with me to find some solutions. She spent some one-on-one time with Ben after that and reported back that he seemed to like school but wished they had nap time like in preschool. We agreed to keep an eye on him and "hope he would turn the corner." A few weeks after that, we had an especially bad weekend with Ben and even Paul agreed "is this stress on his little body worth it? He's FIVE." At that point we decided that after Christmas we would make a change...whether that be pulling him out one day a week, picking him up early a few days a week, or simply pulling him out to home-school him the rest of the year. Over Christmas break we saw the 'old Benny' and we were reminded of the kid who loved life, loved to run and play, loved to throw on a million sweat bands and work out in the basement with his mom in his underwear. :) He was happy and rested and reasonable and fun.
So back to the beginning of this story. Since I started this post on January 16th, over 2 months have passed and now I am finally picking it back up to finish the story. We met with Ben's teacher and the principal two days after I started this post. The meeting could not have gone better and they agreed we could and should pick Ben up early (just before he eats lunch) two days of the week. We were thrilled and so was Ben. So for the past two months, Ben has had half days on Wednesdays and Fridays. He is a different kid. We can't believe how much of a difference it makes. Mondays he is rested from the weekend, Tuesdays I volunteer in his classroom in the mornings, Wednesday (right when he's getting tired) he has a half day, Thursday is a full day with Grandpa Dave picking him up, then Friday is a half day to end the week. We are thanking God that we have been able to adjust Ben's schedule. We won't be able to do any half days when he is in first grade because of MN State Truancy laws, but Ben's principal has promised he will work with us to make Ben's schedule doable for him. By next year we figure he will be a full year older and his little body will be able to better handle the intensity of the long days and weeks.
Below are some pictures from the first day of school and a party we had the weekend before school started.
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| This picture was taken Jan 20, 2017, after I picked Ben up from school. He rode the entire way home from school like this. |
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