Motherhood failings

Luke has never gotten out of his bed on his own yet...he is still conditioned to stay put like he had to in his crib.  Even if he's crying, he will stay in the bed and cry...sometimes for a while until we go in there.  A few nights ago we turned the monitor off in our bedroom because Luke was talking loudly at 11pm, and we were tired.  Luke's door was also closed.  Well I awoke at 5am to Luke crying so hard.  I finally heard him crying b/c he bravely got out of his bed, grabbed his two puppies off the floor for support, and opened his bedroom door (he must have been crying for a long time before getting out of bed).  He sat at the threshold, looking down the dark hallway (I need to get a nightlight), holding a puppy tightly in each arm, and was wailing really hard.  I ran down the hall, picked him up and held him tight.  It took him 20 minutes to stop hiccuping because he was so upset.  Poor guy.

Then the next morning, I had Ben on our bed and was cleaning in the master bathroom.  Suddenly I heard a loud thump.  I turned around fast and found Ben on the floor.  He cried and cried and cried.  Thankfully he wasn't hurt.  Sigh.  Poor guy, too.

And finally, a glimpse into the way I responded to Luke's misbehavior this morning, which is not the best or most Godly I could have responded.  Luke was about to hit Ben on the head with his drumstick, which is a hard little mallet.  I told him, "If you hit your brother - or anyone - on the head with that - ever - I will cut your purple football jersey into tiny pieces and throw it in the garbage and you will never be able to wear it again.  Do you understand?"  Luke just looked at me and said, "cut into pieces?"  He didn't quite understand....which is probably best!  

Thankfully tomorrow is a new day - and I pray for the grace to do things better.