Dear Meredith
Meredith,
I wrote this on the airplane on the way to Arizona a month or so ago:
I'm on my way to Arizona for 3 days. Meredith, I miss you. You bury your head in my shoulder to hug me. Your soft little hands reach up and caress my face. Then you pull my face in to give me a wet kiss. And you rest your forehead on my forehead, never taking your hands off my face. Always holding my face.
Your second tooth just broke through. I felt it this morning. With your first tooth and this second one you have never cried, fussed or complained to let me know you might be uncomfortable. The only signs I got were that you woke up an extra time in the night wanting to nurse the past few nights, and you wanted to be held a little more the past few days. If you were sitting on the floor (you sit well, completely unassisted now) you would look up at me and give me a little whine to let me know you wanted to be held. Then, when I picked you up and held you close, you were content. But if I got busy and had to put you back down you'd be a trooper and figure out how to be content with whatever you had around you to play with.
That was all I had time to write on the plane. But I can tell you more now. I cried the morning before leaving for Arizona, knowing I had to leave you for a few days. I knew you were in great hands with Grandpa Ernie, Grandma Marcy, Auntie Shari, and cousins Gracie and Katherine (not to mention your two big brothers), but I was still sad to leave you at such a young age. Dad says, "We're going on a trip. She'll be fine." :) A mom's heart feels things that no one else can feel, though. And so I cried. But...I was home before I knew it. You saw me walk in the door at Grandma and Grandpa's, while being held in Gracie's arms, and you didn't reach out or smile, just looked at me like you weren't sure what was going on. Then you came to me and buried your head in my shoulder and kept it there forever...giving me one of your famous hugs. I nursed you then, and the entire time you stared up at me and kept caressing my face with your hand. You just kept reaching up to touch my face, as though you wanted to make sure I was real. I wonder if I will remember the bond that a mom has with her 6 month old baby...if I will believe it was actually as real as I know it is right now as I type these words. I know you know me, and you communicate with me without saying a word.
I watched you sleep in your crib last night. You were lying on your tummy, all covered with warm blankies. Your little baby hand was peaking out from under the covers. I just stared at it, then felt it, and wanted to stop time so I could always have your soft little baby hands to hold and feel and kiss. But pretty soon you'll be five like Luke almost is! It will happen, but for now I will just stare at your little body and accept your sweet hugs and listen to your babbling and squealing and watch you try to crawl. You amaze me.
Mom
I wrote this on the airplane on the way to Arizona a month or so ago:
I'm on my way to Arizona for 3 days. Meredith, I miss you. You bury your head in my shoulder to hug me. Your soft little hands reach up and caress my face. Then you pull my face in to give me a wet kiss. And you rest your forehead on my forehead, never taking your hands off my face. Always holding my face.
Your second tooth just broke through. I felt it this morning. With your first tooth and this second one you have never cried, fussed or complained to let me know you might be uncomfortable. The only signs I got were that you woke up an extra time in the night wanting to nurse the past few nights, and you wanted to be held a little more the past few days. If you were sitting on the floor (you sit well, completely unassisted now) you would look up at me and give me a little whine to let me know you wanted to be held. Then, when I picked you up and held you close, you were content. But if I got busy and had to put you back down you'd be a trooper and figure out how to be content with whatever you had around you to play with.
That was all I had time to write on the plane. But I can tell you more now. I cried the morning before leaving for Arizona, knowing I had to leave you for a few days. I knew you were in great hands with Grandpa Ernie, Grandma Marcy, Auntie Shari, and cousins Gracie and Katherine (not to mention your two big brothers), but I was still sad to leave you at such a young age. Dad says, "We're going on a trip. She'll be fine." :) A mom's heart feels things that no one else can feel, though. And so I cried. But...I was home before I knew it. You saw me walk in the door at Grandma and Grandpa's, while being held in Gracie's arms, and you didn't reach out or smile, just looked at me like you weren't sure what was going on. Then you came to me and buried your head in my shoulder and kept it there forever...giving me one of your famous hugs. I nursed you then, and the entire time you stared up at me and kept caressing my face with your hand. You just kept reaching up to touch my face, as though you wanted to make sure I was real. I wonder if I will remember the bond that a mom has with her 6 month old baby...if I will believe it was actually as real as I know it is right now as I type these words. I know you know me, and you communicate with me without saying a word.
I watched you sleep in your crib last night. You were lying on your tummy, all covered with warm blankies. Your little baby hand was peaking out from under the covers. I just stared at it, then felt it, and wanted to stop time so I could always have your soft little baby hands to hold and feel and kiss. But pretty soon you'll be five like Luke almost is! It will happen, but for now I will just stare at your little body and accept your sweet hugs and listen to your babbling and squealing and watch you try to crawl. You amaze me.
Mom
Comments
Post a Comment